I Don't Look Like Me

I did the "Self Portrait" experiment, and compared the me I see in the mirror, my image of me, to pictures, and yes, they are opposite. So what you see when you see me, is not what I see and imagine myself to be. Now, this is going to take some thinking about!

What do I look like?

My good friend, Sally Yagi (aka Sarah Louise), was a delight over 30 years in Japan--we discovered early on that we had gone to rival colleges in San Antonio at roughly the same time.....now Sally, over 70, has published her third book of poetry: Poetic Potpourri.

She says these are "discarded" poems from her two earlier books, but this one is by far my favorite.

Here is a very intriguing poem (no, I haven't done the experiment yet):

Self-Portrait

I snapped a photo of myself
while gazing in the mirror
and placed it next to the picture
you shot of me yesterday.
In mine, my left side's on the left
and in yours, it's on the right.

This may be quite obvious
but it just dawned on me
that the me you're seeing
is not the me I see every day.

No wonder when we view
ourselves in snapshots,
you always hear us say,
"That doesn't look like me."

The photo you take
is the 'me' that you know,
but the image in the mirror
is 'me' to me.

Imagine my surprise to realize
the cute gal in my looking glass
is seen by no one else.
It's the stranger
I've been sporting
for everyone to see!

So you can go ahead and laugh
because the joke is on me!

First Copper River Salmon

We had the first Copper River salmon last night (missed Tuesday because the delivery would have been too late for our schedule).....and the leftover on salad tonight. This is the Beaujolais Nouveau of Alaska.....people wait in long lines.....the Copper River salmon run is short, and this is a real treat. Sometimes, life is very very good.

If you care

about books, and are USA-oriented read the French blog, Maitresse, for May 12th. And feast . . . and sigh.

Three years

It is impossible to say what this means.....one lesson has been that three years of caregiving, not to mention 11, is as alien to other people as an itinerary of North Uzbekistan. Where does one start. Who cares? So this evening, when I ran upstairs for a "toast" to me halfway through dinner, nothing happened. That was the point. Here is what I wrote to my sister and her family shortly afterwards:

"Well, I had some, ahem, "prepared remarks," but the opportunity passed at the dinner table. So just let me tell you.....

from this early morning, driving for coffee, I realized I was not feeling celebratory, or even self-congratulatory. I looked at Sleeping Lady, and thought, there is a lot to be thankful for, though, so today should be about being grateful. First, my biggest thank-you is for your generosity. It is something astounding that I think about very often. Then, I thought how lucky I am to be in the middle of such a beautiful place. Nothing is ugly here. I thought about the family I can be part of for awhile. Of course, I am thankful for Mother, but then I have been for a very long time. It is just more intense now, seeing her smile first thing on going in to her room for waking-up. She once put a big Miss Piggy decal on a present she sent me, and I framed it, and still have it in a box in storage: "Smile, it helps you get your way." But Mom smiles because she is happy, and because she is glad for the new day, and for the people caring for her. So was I, today.

So thank you. I have done much less than you have these years, and I know it."

I could write pages about all this one single day means and how it is to live it. But what for?

However, another thought has come to me all day. MGF gave me a week at Manoa Valley Inn, and a dinner at the King's St. Alan Wong's in Hawaii between Japan and here three years ago. I remember every minute as if it were yesterday. I feel thankful. That week, and my three days at the Hilton in January, are my breaks for the last four years. Thank you, MGF.

Tomorrow Year 4 begins. August 1, Year 12 begins for everyone else in the household.

trivial diversion for the post: did you know:
Alaska--The name for the 49th state comes from the Native Aleut language and the name was Alaxsxaq. The Russians simplified it to Alyaska (The Great Land) and the Americans reduced it to Alaska. The Aleut word for their homeland literally means "where the sea waves break upon themselves."

Blog Tours

Who knew? Kevin Smokler invented the virtual book tour back in 2003. Now we run into "Blog Tours"---basically visting/interacting with related blogs in the world over a time frame. Absolutely fun! Built around a theme......it is a mini-tripAroundtheWorld! Some discoveries are Better Late than Never!